- “Small businesses live on flexibility.”
The irony of some of the examples he gives are they are actually things I fought FOR as a union rep. The ability to cover shifts, the ability to switch shifts, etc…
“And the contract doesn’t give a single fuck about your emergency.”
If flexibility and part time work is a part of your industry then it will likely be written into whatever contract you agree to. Ultimately employees want flexibility as much as management. Many times they just want it more structured and transparent than whatever improvised system is currently in place.
- “Seniority is where the whole thing starts to rot. Because now the best people stop getting rewarded.”
This is probably one of the most common anti-union arguments and it falls apart if you look at how most unions operate. MLB has one of the most famous unions of all time and players get called up or demoted all the time. Actors are famously unionized and yet still directors get to pick who stars in a play or movie.
“There’s no real merit system.”
Yeah, there is. It’s called promotion. If you make someone a manager they won’t even be in the union anymore and you can pay them whatever you want.
If you want to keep them as an employee them give them bonuses or a specialized position for workplace accomplishments that are important to you.
Where I worked you got extra pay for good reviews and employees who did well were chosen for higher paying private events (both pre- and post- union.)
“dickhead who’s been there longer gets whatever they want. Better shifts. Better schedule. More grace when they fuck up.”
If you have a “dickhead” who works for you that’s on you and your hiring/training practices. And if you have one in a union environment you can still fire them. If they’re sincerely a bad employee it’ll still be relatively easy to do.
In addition, union workplaces with competitive pay and benefits result in more applicants which gives more opportunity to hire overall better employees. If you hire someone who can’t carry their weight you usually have multiple months of probation before they get comprehensive union protection.
It is true that seniority does usually get taken into account for mass layoffs and salary increases, but that’s also prevalent in non-union workplaces as well. And if employees are all in the same classification with the same standards being enforced across the board why wouldn’t that be the case?
- “Margins are already thinner than my patience at closing.”
There’s no way to really address it, because a lot of this just entails taking that statement at face value. No one denies running a business is hard, but so is working a job without decent pay or benefits.
If your business is financially on the rocks then by all means tell the union that and give them the numbers. That’s a pretty normal part of contract negotiations and it will inform the final agreement.
- “The paperwork will beat you.”
Most union issues are handled in conversation and the amount of paperwork you have will likely be relative to the size of your business.
The irony of this particular argument is that most paperwork I had to do as a union rep contained less writing than the majority of posts on his instagram page.
I’m not going to pretend that having a union workplace won’t result in some increase in paperwork, but conflating more structured procedures with living in a bureaucratic nightmare isn’t an accurate representation of what it’s actually like.
“You’re going to hate each other. Just wait til you need a Friday off and you can’t because you couldn’t put the request in time and can’t have someone else come in.”
Ironically I’ve had this issue more in non-union workplaces than in union. Similar to a point I made earlier, employees don’t want less flexbility in shift coverage; they just want it to be more structured and transparent than whatever improvised system is currently in place.
- “There’s this cute fantasy that a union can ask for—and get—self-management.”
I’m not really sure what this one is getting at. It sounds like he’s mudding up the concept of a union with the concept of a worker’s co-operative.
“The moment you create a union, you create gatekeepers on both sides to enforce the agreement.”
That’s a reasonable description of a union workplace with union reps and management…
“There is no real model where management disappears and the place magically runs itself like a co-op monastery in Williamsburg.”
… but then swerves to this which is not. There’s no counterpoint since this whole section is just muddled.
- “Pivoting stops being a decision and becomes a negotiation. Change hours? Menu? staffing model? service style? Now it’s bargaining season—and it all has to be documented.”
This is a good time to point out why union contracts exist. They’re not actually a legally required part of being a union. You could actually just debate each individual issue as they come up.
Both union and management prefer a contract because
a) it allows everyone to get back to work instead of stopping and starting with each issue
and
b) in addition to protecting union rights it also includes clauses protecting MANAGEMENT rights.
The clauses can be formatted in different ways, but here’s a link with one example.
https://www.necanet.org/docs/default-source/labor-relations-conference/labor-relations-bulletins/lr-bulletin—managements-rights—10-2024.pdf?sfvrsn=2b47ef27_3
In short contracts counterbalance the effects of management decisions and usually advocate for employee input, but also solidify management’s right to make essential business decisions.
- “A strike can kill a small business dead.”
In theory, yes? In reality it is not a common thing. Most workforces are very reluctant to strike and only do it as a final measure.
Ironically he sort of makes this point himself by saying striking can present a financial hardship to striking workers.
- “Firing the wrong person becomes a whole damn ceremony… Big unionized places have HR, lawyers, and insurance to eat the settlements that almost always show up.”
This is simply false. If lawyers and settlements “almost always show” up when you fire someone then that’s on you and you need to take a hard look at how you’re running your business.
Ironically, having a union grievance process can decrease the odds of lawyers getting involved since it also documents the behavior that led to someone’s termination and prevents companies from firing employees without just cause.
“Every person you hire has to work out regardless of competency. No pressure bruh.”
This is also simply false and goes back to my response to number 2. You’ll have a greater range of potential employees to choose from, you’ll most likely have a multi-month probation period, employee retention for the employees you do like will be higher, and you’ll STILL be able to fire bad employees.
- “I love capitalism but sometimes I don’t. Guess what happens when you have to pay more for things… Especially now! Prices have to go up.”
This is true, but also true for non-union workplaces as well. Ultimately he’s describing the hard balancing act that all businesses (small or large) face. If the only way to make the numbers work is to underpay and overwork your employees while expecting unrealistic schedule flexibility then you’ve created an unrealistic business model.
- Only 2.7% of all unions that exist in America are less than 30 employees. Even less if you are a hospitality model.
I’ll first say there’s no source for this stat given and I can’t find one online, so can’t speak to its accuracy.
That’s a moot point, however, as misleadingly conflates bargaining units with unions. The total membership of the union is actually often composed of multiple bargaining units. Many of which are less than 30 people.
In a roundabout way he’s inadvertently making a point that I agree with. That it’s likely more sustainable long term for there to be a larger union for bartenders composed of different bargaining units for each bar. Ultimately that’s a good long term goal that starts with unions being created individually at the workplace.
“You ain’t Rosa Parks here. Come on bruh. Y’all sound like the motherfuckers that think vaccines don’t work and that the Artemis Mission was a psyop. They are all dead.”
I have no response to this except to say that’s one wild statement to type out.